Ala Alba


[Touta]: We’re here! We’re here! It’s the capital!
It’s the tower! Look! Look at it, Kuromaru!
It’s frickin’ amazing!

[Kuromaru (thinking)]: I wonder what kind of group the UQ Holders are.

[Touta]: Yukihime said they were a crew made up of those out of place in ordinary society.
I wonder what kind of people they are!
Yeah, I can’t wait!

[Karin]: Yukihime-sama, how could you have spent two years with that imbecile,
much less to take him as a retainer?

[Yukihime]: Well, things happened.

[Karin]: I cannot accept such an answer.

[Yukihime]: I can tell you one thing then:
The two of you had best get along.

[Karin]: What do you mean by that?

[Yukihime]: The immortal powers that you two have are probably the strongest here.
When humanity goes extinct, you’ll probably be the last two people on Earth.

[Karin]: I doubt it.

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Opening
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[Touta]: Wow! It’s frickin’ huge!
Are the UQ Holders here, then?

[Vasago]: Yes, we’re currently ten kilometers off the shore of New Tokyo.
This is our secret headquarters, Fairyland Hall.

[Kuromaru]: You say secret headquarters, but it looks more like a hot springs resort.

[Vasago]: Of course. We also run our own hot springs.

[Touta]: No way! That’s so cool!

[UQ Thug #1]: Ma’am!

[UQ Thug #2]: Ma-am!

[UQ Thug #3]: We missed you so much!

[UQ Thugs (collectively)]: Ma’am!

[Yukihime]: Hey, get off!

[UQ Thug #4]: Yeah! Mistress’ air punch!

[Touta]: Looks like they really missed her.
That’s a point… I wonder if everyone here is immortal.
Maybe there are vampires like me?

[Kuromaru]: Well, probably…

[Gengorou]: Sorry to disappoint you, but no.
There are a huge variety of immortals.
Various magical or beast-like beings,
those who use items like the philosopher’s stone,
or who research digitizing consciousness.

[Ikkuu]: There are even immortals who build up a number of lives like in a video game.

[Gengorou]: Apologies for being so abrupt.
I’m Gengoro Makabe, UQ Holder No.6.
And this is…

[Ikkuu]: I’m UQ *holder No.10, Ikku Ameya.
Nice to meet you.

[Gengorou]: U heard a lot about you from Yukihime-sama.
You’re looking to join us?

[Touta]: Yeah! That’s right!
I’m looking forward to making friends with you all!

[Gengorou]: I see.
However, you must first pass a test before you can join us.

[Touta]: A test?

[Gengorou]: Like exterminating a nest of magical monsters deep under this facility.

[Touta]: Wait, there are magical monsters here?!
And we just have to kill them?

[Gengorou]: It’s not as simple as you might think; they’re shapeshifters.

[Touta]: Not that simply, huh?

[Gengorou]: Yukihime-sama had other plans, though.
You’ll fight one-on-one with one of us Numbers.
You’ll pass if you can get a single strike in.

[Touta]: We just need to hit you once?

[Gengorou]: That’s right.
But you only have until the sun goes down on the seventh day.
You’re free to use whatever weapons you like. You can fight fair or use surprise attacks.

[Touta]: Seriously? This is gonna be easy!

[Kuromaru]: Tota-kin, we should be careful.
They’re clearly incredibly skilled fighters.

[Touta]: Huh? Really?

[Gengorou]: I’ll leave it to your imagination.
Tokisaka-kun, you’ll be fighting me.
Konoe-kun will fight Ikku.

[Karin]: I will face the boy.

[Touta]: Hey, Karin-chan.

[Karin]: He will receive a thorough beating.

[Touta]: Uh, I think you idea of this is a bit off…

[Gengorou]: What do you think, Ikku?

[Ikkuu]: I don’t mind, be my guest.

[Gengorou]: Then Konoe-kun will fight Karin.
The test starts now.

[Touta]: Piece of cake!

[Karin]: It won’t be that easy.

[Kuromaru]: I can’t believe you attacked a woman like that, Tota-kun.
So lame.

[Touta]: Sh-shut up!
Yukihime taught me there’s no difference between men and women in a fight!

[Kuromaru]: It’s because you instantly lost that it’ even more lame!
Gengoro-san, may I have a bout with you?

[Gengorou]: Of course.

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[Kuromaru]: Are you okay, Tota-kun?

[Touta]: No… I couldn’t do anything against her.
I thought Yukihime was strong, but no matter how many times I surprised her, Karin-chan turned it on me.

[Kuromaru]: So you’re sticking with the surprise attacks?

[Touta]: Well if that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll just have to jump her when she’s defenseless in the bath!

[Kuromaru]: That’s disgusting! How can you say that?!

[Touta]: But even then, she’d still probably beat me.
What are you going to do in your fight, Kuromaru?

[Kuromaru]: I don’t know. Gengoro is also very skilled in combat.
He’s not relying on magic.
It seems to be based more on experience and intuition.

[Touta]: Really? Damn it…
The two of us won’t get anywhere like this.

[Shinobu]: Heave-ho. Heave-ho.
Heave-ho. Heave-ho. Heave-ho.

[Touta]: H-hey! Are you alright?

[Shinobu]: Oh, I-I’m sorry.

[Touta]: That seems like too much. Can we help?

[Shinobu]: What? But…

[Touta]: Don’t worry, it’s fine.
Where were you headed?

[Shinobu]: Um…

-----------------

[Touta]: Ok, that’s the last one.

[Shinobu]: Thank you so much.
I can’t believe I made a customer help me like this.

[Touta]: No, we’re not customers.

[Shinobu]: Huh?

[Touta]: Right now, we’re taking the test to join the UQ Holders.
Are you a UQ Holder as well?

[Shinobu]: No, I just work at the inn.

[Kuromaru]: I suspected earlier, but are you just a regular human?

[Shinobu]: Oh, yes.
I’m not what you would call an immortal.
I also can’t use magic.

[Touta]: For real?!
So they’ve got regular people here as well?

[Shinobu]: I seem to be a special case.
When I moved to the capital from the countryside, I got swept up in all sorts of coincidences.
And before I knew it, I wound up living and working here.

[Touta]: Hey, you’re from the countryside as well?
Same for me!
I’m Tota Konoe.
And this feminine guy is Kuromaru Tokisaka.

[Kuromaru]: Feminin-

[Shinobu]: I’m Shinobu Yuki. Pleasure to meet you.

[Touta]: Let us know if you ever get any more troublesome work like this, we’ll be glad to help.

[Shinobu]: I couldn’t…

[Touta]: If I don’t keep moving, I’ll get lazy.
I want to help!

[Kuromaru]: But Tota-kun, what about the entry test?

[Touta]: Of course, we’ll keep training to pass the test.
But we’ll get stuck if all we do is dwell on it, right?
Anyway, what are you doing next?

[Shinobu]: Well, next was…
I had to take the dishes to the storage shed.

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[Yukihime]: All you have to do is land a single blow to pass…
I remember when you faced this challenge.

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Flashback
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[Negi]: I, Negi Springfield, have come to take the test to become your student.

[Evangeline]: So you actually came, brat? Well then, let’s begin without delay.
If you can land a single blow on Chachamaru with your pseudo kung-fu, you’ll have passed.
You can try until you can’t move your limbs any further.

[Negi]: Understood.

[Evangeline]: And furthermore…
what the heck is the gallery doing there?!

[Konoka]: Go for it, Negi-kun!

[Setsuna]: Negi-sensei, I’m sure you can do it!

[Yuna]: Do your best, Negi-kun!

[Makie]: Do you think he’ll be ok?

[Asuna]: Give it all you’ve got, Negi!

[Ku]: An extended fight isn’t in your favor.
Aim for an early counter otherwise you’ll lose, Negi-boy!

[Negi]: Understood!

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[Yukihime]: Well then, I wonder how your grandson will pass this hurdle…

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[Kuromaru]: She said the back-storage room, but how far do you think it is?

[Touta]: Well, Shinobu said we’d know it when we saw it.

[Kurobo]: Hey, this way.

[Kuromaru]: What’s wrong?

[Touta]: I thought I just heard someone…
Oh, do you think that’s the storeroom?

[Kuromaru]: You think so?
Hey, is this really the right place? What sort of storeroom is this?

[Touta]: Well there weren’t any other places that seemed right.
We’ll just head back if I’m wrong.

[Kuromaru]: Well, we’ve already gone down quite far.

[Touta]: Whoops, looks like this isn’t a storeroom.
My bad.

[Kuromaru]: Well at least this didn’t end with some monster jumping out at us.

[Touta]: Huh, what’s that over there?

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[Touta]: Wow! What the heck is this place?

[Kuromaru]: How could there be such a structure underground?

[Touta]: A sword? Why do you think it’s sticking up like that?

[Jinbei]: Huh? Who are you two?
Are you two the newbies that Yukihime brought back with her?
And you’ve stumbled right into my secret base.
Not bad!

[Yukihime]: You know Yukihime? Who are you, old man?

[Jinbei]: Me?
I’m UQ Holder No.2, Jinbei Shishido!

[Touta]: Number 2?!

[Kuromaru]: That means he’s really powerful if he’s ranked right after Yukihime!

[Jinbei]: Seriously?! What a waste!
I can still slurp this! It’ll still taste good!

[Touta]: I doubt it, this guy’s not that impressive.

[Kuromaru]: Y-you might be right.

[Jinbei]: Damn it, no good…
Oh right, which one of you is Tota Konoe?

[Touta]: Me. Why?

[Jinbei]: Why don’t you give that sword a pull?

[Touta]: Huh?

[Jinbei]: It’s yours if you can take it.

[Touta]: What?


[Jinbei]: That is a powerful magic sword that was forged by the great mage Albireo Imma.
It’s a pain in the ass to use, so it’s just been left there.
And you there, uh, Kuromaru?
You’re always swinging around a sword.
But Tota, you don’t have anything.
You want your own weapon, right?

[Touta]: Nah, not really.

[Jinbei]: Seriously?!

[Touta]: I mean it’s hard to walk around with a weapon all the time.

[Jinbei]: What are you saying?!
Everyone looks up to a guy with his own weapon!
It’s super cool!

[Touta]: Well, I would look awesome…
Okay, why not?
This thing’s impossible to pick up!

[Jinbei]: I never said it would be easy.
That sword has a long history.
For decades, countless strong men have vied to take it, but not one has succeeded.

[Kurobo]: Try turning the dial.

[Touta]: The dial? This thing?

[Jinbei]: So it’s really not that easy…

[Touta]: Oh, it came out.

[Jinbei]: Wh-what?!
Wait a minute! What trick did you use?!

[Touta]: It wasn’t a trick, someone just told me…
Oh, right, who was that?

[Kurobo]: It was I.
This sword.

[Touta]: Huh?! This thing can talk!

[Jinbei]: Hey, Kurobo…
You can’t go telling people like that.

[Kurobo]: Why not? It is so dull here.
It’s been a decade since anyone has wielded me.

[Jinbei]: But still…

[Kurobo]: They say the sword *choses its wielder… or something like that, right?
Oh, you can teach him everything about me.

[Jinbei]: Now you’re giving me work to do! Whatever, give it here!

[Touta]: Sure.

[Jinbei]: Don’t get cocky just because you were able to take it.
You still have to master it before you can call it your own.

[Touta]: That’s not what you said before.

[Jinbei]: Here.

[Kuromaru]: T..Tota-kun?!

[Touta]: My hand! My hand!
Oh yeah, I’m immortal now…
Hey old man, what was that about?!

[Jinbei]: You can change the weight of this sword at will.
I thought we’d try it at times 1,000, but looks like that was no good…
But this sword can become a powerful ally if you can master it.

[**Touta]: Why are you undressing?

[Jinbei]: Times 50,000!
If you can change the weight to your will,
then even the simplest attack will do a considerable amount of damage.
Although you’re going to need an unparalleled amount of training to achieve that.

[Touta]; Okay! I won’t let you down, old man!

[Jinbei]: Good answer!
Although, you’ll probably end up tearing down the whole place if you train outside.
We’ll have you train in here for now.
You too.

[Touta]: Sure!

[Kuromaru]: Yes sir!

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[Jinbei]: They’re still a little wet behind the ears, Yukihime.
But I kind of like them.

[Yukihime]: We still don’t know if he’ll even *past the test.

[Jinbei]: As cold as ever I see.

[Yukihime]: Which remind me, Jinbei, I seem to have misplaced my precious Okinawan sake.
Have you seen it?

[Jinbei]: Who knows…

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<Text: 7 Days Later>

[Touta]: We’re definitely gonna pass this test, Kuromaru!

[Kuromaru]: Of course we are, Tota-kun.

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[Gengorou]: I thought you’d given up.

[Kuromaru]: Of course not.
I’ll get one strike before the sun sets.

[Gengorou]: I’m not going to hold back, you know.

[Kuromaru]: Me neither.
Let’s fight!

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[Touta]: Hey, Karin-chan!
You free?

[Karin]: No surprise attack today?

[Touta]: They’re not that effective.
And I wanted to ask you something.
Will a sword leave a mark if you’re hit by one?

[Karin]: No. You needn’t worry about such a thing.

[Touta]: In that case, I won’t hold back at all!
Here we go!
TImes 1,000!
This thing’s hard.

[Karin]: A gravity-powered sword… Not bad.

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[Kuromaru]: I can’t break through, no matter how fast I am.

[Gengorou]: I see, your speed and accuracy have gotten a lot better.
But you would be better off sticking to playing games.

[Kuromaru]: What?!

[Gengorou]: Your swordplay is too honest.
You’re like an open book.
On the other hand, if you force yourself to use underhanded tactics, you leave yourself wide open.
You may be a nice person,
but I wonder what kind of swordsman you are.

[Kuromaru (thinking)]: I’m going to lose…
Even though I promised Tota-kun…
Of course, what would Tota-kun do?
If he were me, what would he do?

[Gengorou]: You’re wide open!
I’m not done yet!

[Kuromaru]: There’s my one strike.

[Gengorou]: I see…
Even if your body is split in two, the parts are still controlled by your thoughts.
You got me…

[Kuromaru]: G..Gengoro-san?!

[Gengorou]: It’s been a while since I lost a life.
Congratulations, Kuromaru-kun.
You pass!

[Kuromaru]: Thank you very much!

[Kuromaru (thinking]: Tota-kun, did you do it?

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[Touta]: TImes 1!

[Karin (thinking)]: He’s fast, but that won’t be enough…

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[Shinobu]: Give it all you’ve got, Tota-senpai.

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[Touta]: TImes 0.1!

[Karin]: Oh no!

[Touta]: Was that… Shinobu?!

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[Shinobu]: Wh-what is this stuff?

[Touta]: Shinobu!
Damn it! I’ll get rid of them!
Times 1,000!

[Karin]: Wait!
Are you planning on killing her, too?
I will draw them away, you get her when there is an opening.

[Touta]: Uh, o-okay!

[Karin]: Over here, beasts!

[Touta]: Sorry I’m late!
You should be safe here.

[Touta]: Thank you.

[Kuromaru]: Tota-kun!

[Gengorou]: What’s with all the noise?

[Touta]: Oh, Kuromaru, Gengoro-san.
Nothing to worry about.
I’m just about to tidy things up here.
Times 50,000!
U-um, Karin-chan? You ok?
Karin-chan?!
Oh, you’re okay!

[Karin]: You really are an imbecile.
You do realize 10,000 would have been enough!

[Touta]: Y-yes…
Yukihime?!

[Yukihime]: Good work here, Tota.
You too, Karin.

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[Touta]: Hey, Yukihime, do you know what those monsters were?

[Yukihime]: I believe they were the beasts from under the facility. They probably didn’t mean to run out.

[Touta]: Probably?

[Yukihime]: More importantly, how did the entrance test go?
The sun has officially set.

[Touta]: Sh-shoot!
K..Karin-chan, I’m begging you, give me an extra 5 minutes!

[Karin]: Denied.
Although, I suppose if you consider the damage he caused to my uniform
you could say he achieved one strike.

[Touta]: Huh? So… I passed?

[Yukihime]: It appears you did.

[Touta]: Alright! Thank you, Karin-chan!

[Karin]: Watch your tongue!
Don’t you dare act so familiar with me.
I am your superior in UQ Holder, call me senpai…

[Touta]: O-okay…

[Kuromaru]: Congratulations, Tota-kun!

[Touta]: Kuromaru! You passed too?

[Kuromaru]: Yeah!

[Yukihime]: By the way, it seems like someone was messing around downstairs and made a hole in a wall that allowed those monsters to get out.
Who could it have been…?
Well either way, I did an emergency seal with some ice magic.
It won’t last forever, though.
So Tota, Kuromaru, I have your first mission…

[Kuromaru & Touta (in unison)]: Huh?

[Yukihime]: Go downstairs and kill all the monsters until there are none left.
Oh, and Jinbei, I found my Okinawan sake.
It was in the hall downstairs.
You know, where you first met Tota?

[Jinbei]: What? No way. What a coincidence…

[Yukihime]: You can join them!

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[Touta]: Shoot, aren’t they a bit dangerous?!

[Jinbei]: Hurry up you two, kill them!

[Kuromaru]: I don’t know if we can deal with this many!

<Text>: Tota Konoe
Kuromaru Tokisaka
UQ Holder Entry Exam
PASSED

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“Invasion of the Assassins”

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