[Touta]: We’re here! We’re here! It’s the capital! It’s the tower! Look! Look at it, Kuromaru! It’s frickin’ amazing!
[Kuromaru (thinking)]: I wonder what kind of group the UQ Holders are.
[Touta]: Yukihime said they were a crew made up of those out of place in ordinary society. I wonder what kind of people they are! Yeah, I can’t wait!
[Karin]: Yukihime-sama, how could you have spent two years with that imbecile, much less to take him as a retainer?
[Yukihime]: Well, things happened.
[Karin]: I cannot accept such an answer.
[Yukihime]: I can tell you one thing then: The two of you had best get along.
[Karin]: What do you mean by that?
[Yukihime]: The immortal powers that you two have are probably the strongest here. When humanity goes extinct, you’ll probably be the last two people on Earth.
[Touta]: Wow! It’s frickin’ huge! Are the UQ Holders here, then?
[Vasago]: Yes, we’re currently ten kilometers off the shore of New Tokyo. This is our secret headquarters, Fairyland Hall.
[Kuromaru]: You say secret headquarters, but it looks more like a hot springs resort.
[Vasago]: Of course. We also run our own hot springs.
[Touta]: No way! That’s so cool!
[UQ Thug #1]: Ma’am!
[UQ Thug #2]: Ma-am!
[UQ Thug #3]: We missed you so much!
[UQ Thugs (collectively)]: Ma’am!
[Yukihime]: Hey, get off!
[UQ Thug #4]: Yeah! Mistress’ air punch!
[Touta]: Looks like they really missed her. That’s a point… I wonder if everyone here is immortal. Maybe there are vampires like me?
[Kuromaru]: Well, probably…
[Gengorou]: Sorry to disappoint you, but no. There are a huge variety of immortals. Various magical or beast-like beings, those who use items like the philosopher’s stone, or who research digitizing consciousness.
[Ikkuu]: There are even immortals who build up a number of lives like in a video game.
[Gengorou]: Apologies for being so abrupt. I’m Gengoro Makabe, UQ Holder No.6. And this is…
[Gengorou]: U heard a lot about you from Yukihime-sama. You’re looking to join us?
[Touta]: Yeah! That’s right! I’m looking forward to making friends with you all!
[Gengorou]: I see. However, you must first pass a test before you can join us.
[Touta]: A test?
[Gengorou]: Like exterminating a nest of magical monsters deep under this facility.
[Touta]: Wait, there are magical monsters here?! And we just have to kill them?
[Gengorou]: It’s not as simple as you might think; they’re shapeshifters.
[Touta]: Not that simply, huh?
[Gengorou]: Yukihime-sama had other plans, though. You’ll fight one-on-one with one of us Numbers. You’ll pass if you can get a single strike in.
[Touta]: We just need to hit you once?
[Gengorou]: That’s right. But you only have until the sun goes down on the seventh day. You’re free to use whatever weapons you like. You can fight fair or use surprise attacks.
[Touta]: Seriously? This is gonna be easy!
[Kuromaru]: Tota-kin, we should be careful. They’re clearly incredibly skilled fighters.
[Touta]: Huh? Really?
[Gengorou]: I’ll leave it to your imagination. Tokisaka-kun, you’ll be fighting me. Konoe-kun will fight Ikku.
[Karin]: I will face the boy.
[Touta]: Hey, Karin-chan.
[Karin]: He will receive a thorough beating.
[Touta]: Uh, I think you idea of this is a bit off…
[Gengorou]: What do you think, Ikku?
[Ikkuu]: I don’t mind, be my guest.
[Gengorou]: Then Konoe-kun will fight Karin. The test starts now.
[Touta]: Piece of cake!
[Karin]: It won’t be that easy.
[Kuromaru]: I can’t believe you attacked a woman like that, Tota-kun. So lame.
[Touta]: Sh-shut up! Yukihime taught me there’s no difference between men and women in a fight!
[Kuromaru]: It’s because you instantly lost that it’ even more lame! Gengoro-san, may I have a bout with you?
[Gengorou]: Of course.
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[Kuromaru]: Are you okay, Tota-kun?
[Touta]: No… I couldn’t do anything against her. I thought Yukihime was strong, but no matter how many times I surprised her, Karin-chan turned it on me.
[Kuromaru]: So you’re sticking with the surprise attacks?
[Touta]: Well if that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll just have to jump her when she’s defenseless in the bath!
[Kuromaru]: That’s disgusting! How can you say that?!
[Touta]: But even then, she’d still probably beat me. What are you going to do in your fight, Kuromaru?
[Kuromaru]: I don’t know. Gengoro is also very skilled in combat. He’s not relying on magic. It seems to be based more on experience and intuition.
[Touta]: Really? Damn it… The two of us won’t get anywhere like this.
[Touta]: Don’t worry, it’s fine. Where were you headed?
[Shinobu]: Um…
-----------------
[Touta]: Ok, that’s the last one.
[Shinobu]: Thank you so much. I can’t believe I made a customer help me like this.
[Touta]: No, we’re not customers.
[Shinobu]: Huh?
[Touta]: Right now, we’re taking the test to join the UQ Holders. Are you a UQ Holder as well?
[Shinobu]: No, I just work at the inn.
[Kuromaru]: I suspected earlier, but are you just a regular human?
[Shinobu]: Oh, yes. I’m not what you would call an immortal. I also can’t use magic.
[Touta]: For real?! So they’ve got regular people here as well?
[Shinobu]: I seem to be a special case. When I moved to the capital from the countryside, I got swept up in all sorts of coincidences. And before I knew it, I wound up living and working here.
[Touta]: Hey, you’re from the countryside as well? Same for me! I’m Tota Konoe. And this feminine guy is Kuromaru Tokisaka.
[Kuromaru]: Feminin-
[Shinobu]: I’m Shinobu Yuki. Pleasure to meet you.
[Touta]: Let us know if you ever get any more troublesome work like this, we’ll be glad to help.
[Shinobu]: I couldn’t…
[Touta]: If I don’t keep moving, I’ll get lazy. I want to help!
[Kuromaru]: But Tota-kun, what about the entry test?
[Touta]: Of course, we’ll keep training to pass the test. But we’ll get stuck if all we do is dwell on it, right? Anyway, what are you doing next?
[Shinobu]: Well, next was… I had to take the dishes to the storage shed.
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[Yukihime]: All you have to do is land a single blow to pass… I remember when you faced this challenge.
[Negi]: I, Negi Springfield, have come to take the test to become your student.
[Evangeline]: So you actually came, brat? Well then, let’s begin without delay. If you can land a single blow on Chachamaru with your pseudo kung-fu, you’ll have passed. You can try until you can’t move your limbs any further.
[Negi]: Understood.
[Evangeline]: And furthermore… what the heck is the gallery doing there?!
[Konoka]: Go for it, Negi-kun!
[Setsuna]: Negi-sensei, I’m sure you can do it!
[Yuna]: Do your best, Negi-kun!
[Makie]: Do you think he’ll be ok?
[Asuna]: Give it all you’ve got, Negi!
[Ku]: An extended fight isn’t in your favor. Aim for an early counter otherwise you’ll lose, Negi-boy!
[Negi]: Understood!
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[Yukihime]: Well then, I wonder how your grandson will pass this hurdle…
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[Kuromaru]: She said the back-storage room, but how far do you think it is?
[Touta]: Well, Shinobu said we’d know it when we saw it.
[Kurobo]: Hey, this way.
[Kuromaru]: What’s wrong?
[Touta]: I thought I just heard someone… Oh, do you think that’s the storeroom?
[Kuromaru]: You think so? Hey, is this really the right place? What sort of storeroom is this?
[Touta]: Well there weren’t any other places that seemed right. We’ll just head back if I’m wrong.
[Kuromaru]: Well, we’ve already gone down quite far.
[Touta]: Whoops, looks like this isn’t a storeroom. My bad.
[Kuromaru]: Well at least this didn’t end with some monster jumping out at us.
[Touta]: Huh, what’s that over there?
----------------
[Touta]: Wow! What the heck is this place?
[Kuromaru]: How could there be such a structure underground?
[Touta]: A sword? Why do you think it’s sticking up like that?
[Jinbei]: Huh? Who are you two? Are you two the newbies that Yukihime brought back with her? And you’ve stumbled right into my secret base. Not bad!
[Yukihime]: You know Yukihime? Who are you, old man?
[Kuromaru]: That means he’s really powerful if he’s ranked right after Yukihime!
[Jinbei]: Seriously?! What a waste! I can still slurp this! It’ll still taste good!
[Touta]: I doubt it, this guy’s not that impressive.
[Kuromaru]: Y-you might be right.
[Jinbei]: Damn it, no good… Oh right, which one of you is Tota Konoe?
[Touta]: Me. Why?
[Jinbei]: Why don’t you give that sword a pull?
[Touta]: Huh?
[Jinbei]: It’s yours if you can take it.
[Touta]: What?
[Jinbei]: That is a powerful magic sword that was forged by the great mage Albireo Imma. It’s a pain in the ass to use, so it’s just been left there. And you there, uh, Kuromaru? You’re always swinging around a sword. But Tota, you don’t have anything. You want your own weapon, right?
[Touta]: Nah, not really.
[Jinbei]: Seriously?!
[Touta]: I mean it’s hard to walk around with a weapon all the time.
[Jinbei]: What are you saying?! Everyone looks up to a guy with his own weapon! It’s super cool!
[Touta]: Well, I would look awesome… Okay, why not? This thing’s impossible to pick up!
[Jinbei]: I never said it would be easy. That sword has a long history. For decades, countless strong men have vied to take it, but not one has succeeded.
[Kurobo]: Try turning the dial.
[Touta]: The dial? This thing?
[Jinbei]: So it’s really not that easy…
[Touta]: Oh, it came out.
[Jinbei]: Wh-what?! Wait a minute! What trick did you use?!
[Touta]: It wasn’t a trick, someone just told me… Oh, right, who was that?
[Kurobo]: It was I. This sword.
[Touta]: Huh?! This thing can talk!
[Jinbei]: Hey, Kurobo… You can’t go telling people like that.
[Kurobo]: Why not? It is so dull here. It’s been a decade since anyone has wielded me.
[Jinbei]: But still…
[Kurobo]: They say the sword *choses its wielder… or something like that, right? Oh, you can teach him everything about me.
[Jinbei]: Now you’re giving me work to do! Whatever, give it here!
[Touta]: Sure.
[Jinbei]: Don’t get cocky just because you were able to take it. You still have to master it before you can call it your own.
[Touta]: That’s not what you said before.
[Jinbei]: Here.
[Kuromaru]: T..Tota-kun?!
[Touta]: My hand! My hand! Oh yeah, I’m immortal now… Hey old man, what was that about?!
[Jinbei]: You can change the weight of this sword at will. I thought we’d try it at times 1,000, but looks like that was no good… But this sword can become a powerful ally if you can master it.
[**Touta]: Why are you undressing?
[Jinbei]: Times 50,000! If you can change the weight to your will, then even the simplest attack will do a considerable amount of damage. Although you’re going to need an unparalleled amount of training to achieve that.
[Touta]; Okay! I won’t let you down, old man!
[Jinbei]: Good answer! Although, you’ll probably end up tearing down the whole place if you train outside. We’ll have you train in here for now. You too.
[Touta]: Sure!
[Kuromaru]: Yes sir!
--------------------------
[Jinbei]: They’re still a little wet behind the ears, Yukihime. But I kind of like them.
[Yukihime]: We still don’t know if he’ll even *past the test.
[Jinbei]: As cold as ever I see.
[Yukihime]: Which remind me, Jinbei, I seem to have misplaced my precious Okinawan sake. Have you seen it?
[Jinbei]: Who knows…
-----------------
<Text: 7 Days Later>
[Touta]: We’re definitely gonna pass this test, Kuromaru!
[Kuromaru]: Of course we are, Tota-kun.
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[Gengorou]: I thought you’d given up.
[Kuromaru]: Of course not. I’ll get one strike before the sun sets.
[Gengorou]: I’m not going to hold back, you know.
[Kuromaru]: Me neither. Let’s fight!
-------------------------
[Touta]: Hey, Karin-chan! You free?
[Karin]: No surprise attack today?
[Touta]: They’re not that effective. And I wanted to ask you something. Will a sword leave a mark if you’re hit by one?
[Karin]: No. You needn’t worry about such a thing.
[Touta]: In that case, I won’t hold back at all! Here we go! TImes 1,000! This thing’s hard.
[Karin]: A gravity-powered sword… Not bad.
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[Kuromaru]: I can’t break through, no matter how fast I am.
[Gengorou]: I see, your speed and accuracy have gotten a lot better. But you would be better off sticking to playing games.
[Kuromaru]: What?!
[Gengorou]: Your swordplay is too honest. You’re like an open book. On the other hand, if you force yourself to use underhanded tactics, you leave yourself wide open. You may be a nice person, but I wonder what kind of swordsman you are.
[Kuromaru (thinking)]: I’m going to lose… Even though I promised Tota-kun… Of course, what would Tota-kun do? If he were me, what would he do?
[Gengorou]: You’re wide open! I’m not done yet!
[Kuromaru]: There’s my one strike.
[Gengorou]: I see… Even if your body is split in two, the parts are still controlled by your thoughts. You got me…
[Kuromaru]: G..Gengoro-san?!
[Gengorou]: It’s been a while since I lost a life. Congratulations, Kuromaru-kun. You pass!
[Kuromaru]: Thank you very much!
[Kuromaru (thinking]: Tota-kun, did you do it?
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[Touta]: TImes 1!
[Karin (thinking)]: He’s fast, but that won’t be enough…
-----------------------
[Shinobu]: Give it all you’ve got, Tota-senpai.
-------------------
[Touta]: TImes 0.1!
[Karin]: Oh no!
[Touta]: Was that… Shinobu?!
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[Shinobu]: Wh-what is this stuff?
[Touta]: Shinobu! Damn it! I’ll get rid of them! Times 1,000!
[Karin]: Wait! Are you planning on killing her, too? I will draw them away, you get her when there is an opening.
[Touta]: Uh, o-okay!
[Karin]: Over here, beasts!
[Touta]: Sorry I’m late! You should be safe here.
[Touta]: Thank you.
[Kuromaru]: Tota-kun!
[Gengorou]: What’s with all the noise?
[Touta]: Oh, Kuromaru, Gengoro-san. Nothing to worry about. I’m just about to tidy things up here. Times 50,000! U-um, Karin-chan? You ok? Karin-chan?! Oh, you’re okay!
[Karin]: You really are an imbecile. You do realize 10,000 would have been enough!
[Touta]: Y-yes… Yukihime?!
[Yukihime]: Good work here, Tota. You too, Karin.
------------------------
[Touta]: Hey, Yukihime, do you know what those monsters were?
[Yukihime]: I believe they were the beasts from under the facility. They probably didn’t mean to run out.
[Touta]: Probably?
[Yukihime]: More importantly, how did the entrance test go? The sun has officially set.
[Touta]: Sh-shoot! K..Karin-chan, I’m begging you, give me an extra 5 minutes!
[Karin]: Denied. Although, I suppose if you consider the damage he caused to my uniform you could say he achieved one strike.
[Touta]: Huh? So… I passed?
[Yukihime]: It appears you did.
[Touta]: Alright! Thank you, Karin-chan!
[Karin]: Watch your tongue! Don’t you dare act so familiar with me. I am your superior in UQ Holder, call me senpai…
[Touta]: O-okay…
[Kuromaru]: Congratulations, Tota-kun!
[Touta]: Kuromaru! You passed too?
[Kuromaru]: Yeah!
[Yukihime]: By the way, it seems like someone was messing around downstairs and made a hole in a wall that allowed those monsters to get out. Who could it have been…? Well either way, I did an emergency seal with some ice magic. It won’t last forever, though. So Tota, Kuromaru, I have your first mission…
[Kuromaru & Touta (in unison)]: Huh?
[Yukihime]: Go downstairs and kill all the monsters until there are none left. Oh, and Jinbei, I found my Okinawan sake. It was in the hall downstairs. You know, where you first met Tota?
[Jinbei]: What? No way. What a coincidence…
[Yukihime]: You can join them!
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[Touta]: Shoot, aren’t they a bit dangerous?!
[Jinbei]: Hurry up you two, kill them!
[Kuromaru]: I don’t know if we can deal with this many!
<Text>: Tota Konoe Kuromaru Tokisaka UQ Holder Entry Exam PASSED